Hamster's kill

This morning I saw a very bloody scene, I wish I would forgot it~ One of my hamster ate the other~ Rongrong ate Maomao~ I saw one chewing the other's head, making very nusty sound~ I could no longer hold the cage, I asked my roomate to help me to hold it~ carrying it outside and put it nearby my office building, later I asked Mr.Cui to help me with releasing two of them. Later Mr.Cui and Zhou came together with me and did it. We put two of them on the grass and went away. I know what's mean of doing this, there're lots of cats nearby, although they'll escape the day but night time I am not sure if they'll be safe.
I feel like vomit, washed the cage and went back office, because I feel myself more a girl than before, I could manage to be afraid of death~
But it's not a time to consider myself, full of my mind is our relation~ should I let go of Malcolm? Are we matching each other? If I continue to be keeping this relation, what will happen, though I know he is not maomao, though I know I am not a hamster, but still feel very much afraid of our future ahead...
If he doesn't like me, just let him go...for both of our good.